The Black Monday!

A big fight. Hurtful words coming from one side, the other side is crying. A happy event turned into a nightmare. Accusations, accusations and more accusations. Monday dragged into Tuesday. Sour mood and hurt pride. Trying to solve things with self-doubt. Another big fight and it's too much to bear. A snap within me at his bullying, betrayal and his self-centered ass. Pure hatred towards self. And it's over. He demands a break and I feel broken already. A day of neglect..no missed calls..no msgs..nothing. I pack his stuff and give it to my dad, all the while crying. Another low blow to my pride. And I ask myself why the hell I'm holding on..for whom and for what. And it's over. My finger is free. My heart is broken and my pride is diminished. That hurt. Cause I was ready to give what he lacks in giving me. It's a slap to my face. A price paid from my dignity and self-esteem. Now I know what I need in my life. And it's not you. I don't need someone who points out the bad in me. I don't need a proclaimed strong man to bully me instead of protect me. Next time I'll take care. Cause I know what I deserve. And it's much much better than you!

Sincerely -like always-
Nariman.

The Fray - Look After You

It's always have and never hold
You've begun to feel like home
What's mine is yours to leave or take
What's mine is yours to make your own

Pretty song!

Nari got a laptop!! Nananananana!!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I finally fucking finally got a laptop. A big one. A black one. A shiny new one! A Toshiba pretty. So happy. Life these days is good. I'm bored though. I'm far behind on my grad. project. M and I are doing okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! i think? We don't see eachother much. Last friday was my bestfriend's engagement.. it was perrrrrfect! My M got me a new mobile..a pink LG touch. It's cool. He sold his bike :(:(:( We're okay. He got me flowers 2 weeks ago when I was sick. It was a white and rose bouquet. I loved it. El 7amdollah! :)
Salam!

مهما يحاولوا يطفوا الشمس

مهما يحاولوا يطفوا الشمس

مهما يزيدوا علينا الهمس

مهما يقولوا مهما يعيدوا

انت في قلبي انت وبس

كل كلامهم مش هيقصر 

وانا ولا هبعد ولا هتغير

يمكن حتى هقرب أكتر 

مهما يحاولوا الناس بالعكس

حبنا جوه قلوبنا بيكبر

مهما يحاولوا يطفوا الشمس . مهما يحاولوا يطفوا الشمس

ياللي حياتي بتحلم بيك 

وبشوف كل الكون بعنيك

انت العمر الحلو اللي زمان كان متأجل

عشت وشفته جوه عنيك في معاده بيوصل

ليه عايزين ياخدوه من قلبي

ليه يلوموني الناس على حبي

كل كلامهم مش هيقصر 

وانا ولا هبعد ولا هتغير

يمكن حتى هقرب أكتر 

مهما يحاولوا الناس بالعكس

حبنا جوه قلوبنا بيكبر

مهما يحاولوا يطفوا الشمس . مهما يحاولوا يطفوا الشمس

بيني وبينك حب كبير 

أكبر ما يفكروا بكتير

ده اللي ما بيني وبينك كان في السما متقدر

لازم كنت هحبك مهما لقانا اتأخر

حتى في أخر يوم من عمري

كنت حجيلك برضه يا قدري

كل كلامهم مش هيقصر 

وانا ولا هبعد ولا هتغير

يمكن حتى هقرب أكتر 

مهما يحاولوا الناس بالعكس

حبنا جوه قلوبنا بيكبر

مهما يحاولوا يطفوا الشمس . 
مهما يحاولوا يطفوا الشمس.

April's first post!

"I like my body when it is with your body. It is so quite new a thing. Muscles better and nerves more."
- E.E. Cummings

Also about Forgiving and Forgetting!

Forgiving and forgetting are such strong emotions and are inevitably related to love. When we love someone, we mostly want to be loved back and have some expectations of the other person.. Then at some point of time, if this person fails us in any way, it really hurts.. So if its true love then forgiving isn’t a big deal but the problem is in forgetting.. Can a heart really forget another heart which it truly loved?

Forgiving and Forgetting!

Nicosia (December 20, 2010 )
If I must say the way I’m doing, I will say that I forgive but I don’t forget; not because I want to remember the bad things that hapenned to me, but because my heart is not ready to forget…

I also think that forgetting is the supreme way of forgiving but it must be a natural process that comes (if it comes) without our intervention. When we forget something that has been fogiven it means that we evolved in our spiritual way to such an extend that we are very different from the one we were in the past, when we were hurt.

I think that we should give ouselves the freedom to forget or not the things that happenned to us, so that our souls be free to follow their way…

mizfee (August 3, 2010 at 9:00 am) 
Forgiving someone who has wronged you, betrayed you, is a very hard thing to do. I struggle with this daily. But I find that the act of forgiveness is not something you do as a gift for the other person, but as a gift for yourself.
You hold on so tight to your anger, your principles, that you just clench so tightly at this thing you can’t let go.
How do you find peace if you’re constantly reminding yourself how badly the other person treated you? Yet that person has moved on, created a new life, finding happiness in his own way. Let go, let go of the anger, and you can then unclench the hand and reach for something else, something new, hopefully something better. Maybe you don’t forget, but over time the memory of the pain fades, and it doesn’t hurt so much anymore.
Then forgive and move forward.
Justice happens when that pain doesn’t affect you anymore and the powerful memory of days long gone don’t hang around too long.

Forgive And Forget

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