I had a really really bad day. The kind of day where I'm awkward and stuttering mess of hurried words and lack of control. This was a bad idea. Bad idea. Such a bad idea. The urge to run and hide behind my dad's back was so strong but you're not a child anymore. And one day you need to grow up and be mature and face people you don't want to face. But when would that happen to me, I don't know. I really don't know.
I know it has been a long time, but here I am, and I'm alive and okay.
Last Friday, I met someone I've met online since last October. The experience was both amazing and thrilling, I've never done such thing before.
Meeting someone who doesn't know someone I know, or even I worked with, or went to the same places I go to. I've always had this urge to talk to someone I don't know in a cafe or a restaurant and let them in and tell them stuff about me, then leave. And I finally got to do that.
May be I have a bad girl streak in me, but it didn't feel wrong.
Since my last breakup I had no friends. At all. They were all gone just like my ex. They took his side. And I was alone, and I haven't been alone or felt that much loneliness since a very long time.
So I used twitter to get me out of my depression. And I found solace in people I don't know who accepted me the way I am.
And I found that in meeting strangers that:
I'm not my past.
I'm not what my exes made me.
I'm not what my parents told me I am.
And the person in front of me is new as well.
He's not his past.
He's not what his life turned him into.
And this made me happy. I made him happy and he did.
And this is what matters most.