Sunday, May 29, 2011

Inspirational words of Wisdom

All my respect to this man. His words and the way he believes in them alone are inspiring and encouraging :)

His quotes:

Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too.

Everybody need a partner to stand right by their side, Not only down for the good times but also for the bad times.


Saturday, May 28, 2011

Art Journal Entries and Life!

Hoha's  art journal, this first entry is about our day together :D
(You can see my version of this day down)
Love it :D
A doodle of us, I'm on the left :D
I love what she wrote about sweet <3

I wrote what I wanted to blog here.
The gray day,
May 23rd,
I don't like this one, Meh,
Quoting New Moon,
May 24th
I started reading The Time Traveler's Wife, it's great. I already marked my favorite lines in it. I haven't seen the movie yet. I'm finishing the book first. I like the name Clare, it's sophisticated. I'm down. I cry a lot, like 3 times a day. Cry over silly stuff, and old romantic The Bachelor! Really?
I found a new passion, HR stuff. I'm reading my sister's huge college text book. And searching post-graduation plans, hopefully an HR diploma at the AUC, and a conversation course there too..or at the British Council. This gives me hope and an old familiar missed joy and sense of purpose. I've missed this.
I love my parents, and I hate that I don't say it enough. I've been thinking about certain Quran verses. I've been listening to Quran.
One goes back and forth in my mind,
{ألا بذكرِ اللّه تطمئنُّ القلوب}
So from now on, I'll be doing that :)

Thursday, May 26, 2011

A Negative Post!

I don't want things to change. I don't know what ''things'' are. I don't want guys posting on my wall on facebook. And when they post songs with "weird hidden message within lyrics" it just...pisses me off! I hate when someone posts "inboxek!" on my wall, WTF! I don't want to get to know someone. Not now. It's not right. I don't want anyone calling me. Why is it so hard to draw the line with someone so nice? They're just too nice. That sucks. And why do they care asln? I'm used to being ignored. I'm fine with being ignored. Alone and on my own. I don't care about them..not like they do. I think I'm turning cold. I'm still raw. I need time to be by myself. I hate this. All of this. Even this post, I hate it. So negative. So me. I hate tweeting now, because of the one too caring follower/friend.  I can't tweet the personal stuff. Now he asks about the blog! Again WTF! It's too personal. I'd die if anyone I know in real life read all this. I'm a private person. It's like reading someone's mind. Even my closest bestfriend doesn't read it. It's called respecting privacy and avoiding awkward situations. We avoid tear-shedding all costs. We don't hug and talk about feelings. Easier to get by when you think that they think that you're strong and just....couping. That's where the respect and admiration comes from...I think. I don't want to let anyone so close again.. EVER! I don't want anyone to depend on me. I don't want them to think I care. I don't want to care. My mood is sour. I want to bake. No enough eggs.
Spreading negative energy and turning emo,

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

M for Mofid

My speaker eared lovely Mofid <3
He's the most amazing kitten/cat ever. His name is Mofid xD I have a habit and a sick joy of naming cats weird names. He was thrown in my way by destiny. See, I took this guy from the street..just at the back gate of college. I heard his weird meow and stopped walking right away, he was at the middle of the pavement. So tiny, and his face was all messed up with dirt and ooze from his eye infection. I tried cleaning his face using wipes, but it didn't work. So I called mom told her about the situation and whether if I could take him home. I was on my way to a Bday party 3la fekra. She said bring him. So I put him in my large bag and got in a taxi. Imagine standing in the street with a meowing bag for ten minutes! I got him home bas tab3an kan shardly fe el taxi :D
He got a bath mo3tabar. Poor guy, his eyes were so infected, we thought he was blind. We couldn't even see his eyes. Just swollen lids. The next day I took him to the vet. And he wrote him some eye drops and ta ta el 7amdollah, he got better in 2 weeks.
I didn't go to the bday, and I wasn't alone when it all happened. My friends were with me, they were disgusted when I wiped his face. They were horrified when I put Mofid in the bag and left. They went to the Bday but I did good. They are forever in the black list :D We aren't close asln.
Mofid gives the best kisses and tamsee7a ever. Mofid slept on my lap while we waited at the vet's. He was the size of my palm then, he looked adorable among the fancy brand cats and dogs. Mofid eats anything he can eat. He used to have a weird meow, he used to meow all the time, really really loud for 3 days. He stopped that. He was blind when we got him, so if any one spoke he would wake up and start following by voice. So cute :D

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Today's doodles!

My Art Journal <3<3
This sums up today :)
It's such a creative way to keep the inspiration alive. I didn't have time to "a7antef feh" yet. Soon it'll be my scrapbook, filled with my doodles from my dark mind.
The lyrics in the pic. are from 3 doors down's song ''She don't want the world'', the ''don't'' really bugs me though. She doesn't, I don't..5adnaha keda fe el school :) Anyway it's a pretty song :)
yours and yours,

Saturday, May 21, 2011

May 20th 2010 (In the memory of my Tito)

I've never wrote about my cats. I've had many, and I've three at the moment. I lost my cat "Tito" last year on 20 of May to be specific. I've loved him dearly, grown attached to him through the five years he'd been with me. No he was not just a ''cat'' like everyone who doesn't own a pet tells me over and over. And it never surprise me how merciless people can be. It's weird that the only place in the world that you can talk freely about your pet, and talk to strangers on how much you love them and know that they'll never judge, is at the veterinarian's waiting room. Face 3amel keda :S:S:S bgd!

Back to Tito, We got him from my aunt in 2006, she didn't want him. We took him in, and we fell in love instantly. He was my pride and joy. I talked to him, played with him, you get the point :D. He loved eating boiled eggs, he was consuming up to 4 eggs a day (sometimes) plus eating meat or chicken. Unawarely, that caused him kidney stones in November 2008. He got really sick and we took him to a vet who treated my aunt's cats. The so called vet. told us that an operation is a must. He did what he did, and we payed for the operation, the aftercare and stay. I got my cat limb and unconsciousness after 11 days from the operation. We took him back home, and he wasn't the same cat again. I still don't know how he recovered from this. He kept getting sick for months after. So we took him to another vet. and he told us that the operation was entirely unnecessary, that he could have gone better just by changing his diet and nutrition. Face 3amel keda now :@:@. Tito kept going since then April 2009 to the vet. -the good one up until his death- 3 times each month. My cat lived a year and half in pain cause of the first veterinarian's ''mistake'' and lack of conscious. He had abused my cat, and until now I still can't forgive that man. No matter what happens to that cruel unprofessional man, I want him to die a slow, humiliating and painful death.

My Tito died cause his bladder was too damaged to function and a kidney failure. I've been watching my cat die slowly and painfully for a year and a half. He was not a pet, not to me nor to my family. I'm proud to say that he was -and still is- one of us. We have his picture framed and next to it a picture of me. We have that picture frame in our living room. And his photo is my cellphone's wallpaper. I miss him everyday.
After Tito's death, we discovered that the bad vet. was practicing without a license, and at the time he was sent to jail. I considered this a small price of the debt he has to pay.

It's so important for every pet owner to know how to take care of his pet. It's his responsibility and there's no excuse for neglect. I used to think -as many others still do- that giving your pet what he desires is kindness, it's not. There's a reason why Whiskas exsits.

And animal abuse is everywhere and in every form., from refusing to feed a stray cat when you're holding a piece of bread in your hand, and using a fake certificate to gain a living. And you know animals don't speak. It's just you and your conscience...and Allah of course.

Mercy is also everywhere, you just need to know where to look. Now there're shelters for stray animals, and abused pets. There are many charitable organizations defending animal rights in Egypt. You don't have to encourage greedy pet stores, who starve kittens so you pity one and buy it. You can adopt a stray pet from the shelter and know that they want nothing from you except caring for the poor animal. You can spread the word among your friends and tell them why we should be more merciful to these animals. You can use the empty plastic bowl as a water bowl for the cat living in your building. You can serve them rice and see how giddy they'll be to eat it. You can save them without a sweat.

That's Tito, so beautiful.

In our balcony,

With Farfora, he has just taken a shower :)
Last spring on Sham el Neseem.
That's the picture I framed :)

I love that photo, they look like they're kissing xD
Baby, I miss youu :(

Here's the link to one of the organization caring for animals in Cairo, ESMA
There'd been an incident of abusing (murdering) a dog recently and we need your 5 minutes to sign this petition to protect animals and enforce the law. You don't have to be a pet owner or anything. But if you don't like something, then please change it.

This post is as long just as it should be. :) Guys please please, spread the word. I beg you.
I'm happy to hear your thoughts and comments anytime.
the scammer Vet. who operated on my Tito wrong is named Amr Farouk, He had a pet clinic in Maadi. And I hope he's dead.
Useful for once,

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Deep Down

Today I daydream. Of things that will never happen, but deep down I wish them to be. I daydream about hugging you.

I read this today, it's a beautiful post.
I listen to

The lyrics are beautiful, I love his voice.
I also recommend Save him, and Down in a cold dirty well.

Hey, M

Hey M,
I thought of our valentine's day today. I wish I had made you something, or given you a card. I still have yours. I remember what you wrote and it pains me. I've seen a lot of signs lately - not the kind you see on the street-, I don't know what to do, or how should I feel. I ate our favorite biscuit the other day (hope you don't mind). I bought two like I'm always used to, but this time it was one for me and one for me, not for you. And that just breaks my heart a little more. I need your help, your presence. Or just you. I've realized that you were my friend after you're gone, my only friend. And it breaks my heart that you've always knew. I miss cooking for you, I miss talking to you and sharing everything with you. Have you realized how much you've hurt me yet? How much I'm still hurting? I wish you to be honest for once with me. And tell me why? I think knowing the details and everything you've kept buried and hidden would help me. I won't send this. But writing it satisfies me.
Not yours anymore,

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Falling Or Rising

This is such a beautiful post!
From I wrote this for you.

A list of sorts

I need to:

ask about Moly more often. I need to spend time with her.
indulge in happy events and outings. There's this color festival I wanna go.
stay positive.
change my fb profile picture.
write a post about all the good things in my life. That includes (Family, my cats, my BFFs)
raise awareness about animal abuse. (I should do that now)
know how to blog :/ pfffff

That's it.. I guess ( I can always edit :D)

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Blogger Baz Blogger Etsala7!

This post originally was named "Between Wednesday and Now"

First, Blogger was down, I couldn't sign in :( Bad Blogger bgd!

Second, I got this reallyyyyyyyyy nice comment but I couldn't reply. Now I don't know where did it go! I would have replied like this
" Ahhhhhhhhhhhh Thank you thank you thank youuuuuu for your nice words and encouragement. I never thought that my ramblings would interest anyone. I read the post you linked, and thank you again for sending me that. It gave me hope."  Thank you, Salma. :)

Third, Wednesday was awesome! I went to college. And at 10 am keda, My friends and I (Monnos, hoha, basomi, ramy, and me) had breakfast at coffee bean and tea leaf. We sat at the out door area. The weather was great and sunny. We had scrambled eggs, sausages and toast. With my great OJ. It was the highlight of the day. We will do it more often. Everyone should do it more often. Kidnap your friends and go. Pay for scrambled eggs and toast a whole lot than you should. Have fun while you're at it. Gossip about the guy sitting next to you who's glaring at everyone and the 70 something lady wearing leggings and heels. You got my point yes?
I got back to college, took my project sketches to the prof. He said and quote "konti fein mn zaman?" He liked it! then I was happyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
I went to Marwa. I cheered her up. She's 22 and got married last Jan. Now she wants a divorce! Her husband is insane. He's not a good person. And a story like this- like the ones we hear on day talk shows- makes you think a million times before getting married. You can't know a person enough. What if he isn't what you thought he is. He plays by the card of society and Marwa's reputation. She's at her parents' rightnow. Rbna ye3awdha 5eir isa. But this is just so sad.

Forth, I sleep a lot now. I'm scaring mom! I sleep more than 12 hours! It's so depressing and I wake up tired.

Fifth, I've read a lot lately. I've learned some new things too. I'm close to graduation. And that blank after it scares me to an extent. Bas I'll worry about that later :)

Sixth, Blogger ew3a tebooz tany! Ana ba2olak aho :/


Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Nari inspired by Nari!

I found these quotes today on the internet. They're amazing <3 I'm gonna work today and focus. I fixed my sleeping pattern :D Slept for 12 hours!!!!! Yayyyyy! From 8 to 8 :)
The quotes:

"If you could envision the type of person God intended you to be, you would rise up and never be the same again"

"I hate turning on lights, she said. In the dark everything is how I imagine it.with the lights on, everything is how it is"

Nari :)

Monday, May 9, 2011

A Salah Gahin post!

الدرس انتهى لموا الكراريس
بالدم اللى على ورقهم سـال
فى قصـر الأمم المتــحدة
مسـابقة لرسـوم الأطـفال
ايه رأيك فى البقع الحمـرا
يا ضمير العالم يا عزيزى
دى لطفـلة مصرية وسمرا
كانت من أشـطر تلاميذى
دمها راسم زهرة
راسم رايـة ثورة
راسم وجه مؤامرة
راسم خلق جباره
راسم نـار
راسم عار
ع الصهيونية والاستعمار
والدنيا اللى عليهم صابرة
وساكته على فعل الأباليس
الدرس انتـهى
لموا الكراريس ..

Muffin Day :)

I spent the day at college with Hoha. She's the best! We had fun, we talked, I cried. I laughed with her. She brings me peace. Masha2 Allah she's amazing. We worked for a while. She bought me a muffin. So I called it the muffin day. It was just us. Just like old times. It's late now and I'm gonna start working. I'm content el 7amdollah. Razor called me but I was sleeping, can't remember a word I said to him. I'll give him a call tomorrow. I texted Moly, it made her happy. It was a good day. No negative energy el 7amdollah.
Off to work!

Sunday, May 8, 2011


When I think about someone else in his place..I don't know why I feel pain. Today I felt pain in my chest when I thought of him. Am I living? I laugh sometimes when I'm around people. I feel self conscience when guys look at me. I accidentally said his name once in front of my friends. I felt bad after. I don't sleep, and when I sleep..I dream about him and wake up feeling tired. I don't eat much. It's gonna end eventually. I won't be like this forever. I'll find someone or someone will find me, who really deserves my love. I want to remember how I felt now. And I want to read this post, years from now and laugh at how things turned out. I want to say El 7amdollah then as I say it now. I don't want to regret this. Ever!
At my lowest - el 7amdollah there's lower-

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Twitter Favs.

Cause I might lose them all..or forget about them. I want to keep in mind that line:

If someone doesn't appreciate and value you, then why are you even with them? Know your worth and what you deserve.
Thank You <3

Let Go!

I need that. To let go...of the memories..of the pain..of his face that haunts my dreams. I need to let go. Anybody knows how?

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

A wish list!

There're places I wanna go and people that I wanna meet.. I want to discover cultures. I want to grow. I want to pack my clothes and leave. I wanna breathe in pizza and walk around in Rome. I want to count stars in Hawaii. I want to shop in London and Paris. I want to go to South Africa. I want to help animals in Egypt. I wanna do good. I want to work and get sick of it. I want to run till my heart pounds in my ears. I want to feel alive. Laugh so hard that I cry. I want to meet Becks and hug her. I'm 21, beautiful and I have a whole life to live. Love life and live it. Appreciate life
No one gonna take that from me!

Bittersweet symphony, this life

Well I never pray
But tonight I'm on my knees yeah
I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah
I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now
But the airways are clean and there's nobody singing to me now
The Verve - Bittersweet Symphony..

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Please remember!

That I've never loved anyone as much.

Dear Journal,

I miss him. Yes, I admit it. I don't wanna things to turn back like they used to be. I don't want him back. I just miss him. His smell, his smile, his voice. Everything. I truly loved him, very deeply so. I lost my faith and trust in him. I used to think that he was my hero. My guy I called him in my head, My Migo to his face. I miss the sound of my name on his lips when I answer the phone. I miss his touch. I miss laughing with him. He doesn't deserve a second chance. He didn't even try to get one! He was never sorry for my misery and pain. He probably never will be. I could have given him the world, my life, I could have given him me. I could have loved him all my life and never waited for something back. I called him 7ayaty. He was 7abibi. My first. My one and only. He didn't want that. He betrayed me and humiliated me. And how could anyone put up with that? Why am I crying rightnow? It's no longer a's a constant pain in my heart. My eyes burn. Where did he go? Why did I fell in love with him? Where did I go wrong? I feel sorry for myself. But that won't help me. I never sought solace in him. He was always the cause of my pain. He never comforted me. It was an illusion and it's over now. So tired all the time. I miss him so much. I want one more hug, one more kiss on the forehead, or my cheek. I would accept a one on the hand. Why did this happen? Who's gonna be mine if it isn't him? I'm better off without him but there's always a but. But I'll miss him.
..يا رب عوضنى خيرا

2nd of May!

On Forgiving!

I will never be able to forget the pain of being hurt by the people who were close to me but at the same time I can proudly say that I have moved on. I have forgiven them, not because I still care about them but because I love myself. I love myself far too much to let the same incident hurt me again and again.
Having said that, I also fear that I might end up building walls around me and not trusting anyone for the fear of getting hurt. I know I do that quite often and wonder if I’m doing the right thing. Where do you draw the line between maintaing your dignity and not being a cold, self-centered person?
Yes, I believe everyone deserves a second chance but I don’t think I can give the same person another chance to hurt me. I would never go out and seek revenge (I leave that to Karma) but I would never ever want things to go back to how they used to be. I don’t hold grudges and let it affect my life but I don’t forget either!