Eye contact..

Did it ever cross your mind that I miss who I used to be too?
Don't you realize how deeply anguished I am about this?
Everytime you look at me and I see the wonder in your eyes.
Noticing how different I am.
Seeing my scars. Seeing nothing but scars.
You know the stories well enough, you know what caused which.
You always complain of how I can't keep eye contact with you.
But you don't think about how hard it is for me.
It happens everytime you look into my eyes.
I can't breathe.
I lose my track of thought.
My ribs hurt and my heart miss a beat.
I'm in pain.
Till I look away.
Still I don't feel any better.
Because you still don't understand.
Nariman,