Green.

Envy; such a hateful poisonous  feeling. I imagine a poison would be green.
Isn't that why they say " green with envy"?
I don't need bitterness anymore.
I want to start over.
Without any of them. Without the ghosts of the people who have hurt me, haunting me down.
Ruinning everything, I am trying to build.
Her smile is too big, mine is extinct.
I don't want anything that she has. But seeing her, reminds me of what I've lost.
When it should remind me of how much I've evolved, since then.
How much I have grown.
This is not college. And we're no longer naive.
If I look deeper, I feel pity for her.
And sometimes I pity me.
Or the both of us.
She's my emotional bully.
How could you stand tall, infront of someone who made you feel so weak and helpless?
How can you fight that mental and emotional battle?
How to be brave?
How to hide?
I came asking for a new start. New life. New friends.
And when I finally got comfortable enough, this happens.
I belong here. You know, this is mine.
And you're not welcomed.

This right here, is honesty.
Raw emotions.
I don't think I've ever been that honest and open.
Nariman