Hello November,

Tomorrow, I am turning 23.
Older than today, younger than I'll ever be again.
P.S
Recruiters are ruthless.
And I really like short posts.
Nariman

Mobile post.

Just testing this one out guys.
Let's see if it works.
N,

Oh-ctober

Read this. So beautifully written.

If you like Kazim El Saher as much as I do listen to this.

And find my tumblr, if you want. I reblog more than I actually post, loving it a great deal.

I pierced my ears a few days ago, another plain earlobe piercings but I love them. My mom flipped of course. She thinks that I'm corrupted now. Old fashioned mom :)

A certain kind of indifference and numbness colors me.  

My studies in HR is going well, another three months and I'll finish my career certificate.

All is good, I believe.

Nariman,

Over and over again

Here's the thing,

I don't deal well with situations, with heartbreaks, even death.

I don't know what to do when someone dies, it's like I avoid thinking about them,

I avoid remembering them. I avoid speaking about them.

And it's the same with every person I lose, whether by life or by death. 

I bottle things up, shut people out, never talk, never show.

Even when I try to talk, cause people wants to know, cause people wants to feel good about themselves. They want to be there, for the sake of being there.

Even then, I feel worse, just like reopening a wound. Cause I do my best, dealing by not dealing at all, and I fail at it. 

And that's how life goes.

My Escape

I remember when I started blogging, when I made this blog, I wanted to escape.

Escaping from certain things that were in my life, certain people, certain insecurities, certain fears,

You can see it in the head title above, or in my healing journey of a year and a few months old of posts.

And I find myself today, at the same point, same place.

Yearning for a place where I can actually breathe,

I can't breathe.

I'm losing control. Losing control over my own life.

Did I really choose this path?

Do I want to continue like this?

Do I want to feel like this?

I don't know.

I don't know anything anymore.

Acceptance

You don't love one another, till you accept one another.

And I accepted you, just as you were/are, a long time ago.

But it was too difficult for you,

Nariman,

Embracing Ramadan

Embracing Ramadan.

Embracing spirituality, embracing the way I am now, the turn my life is taking right now.

Managing without you,

Getting used to your absence, and hating it at the same time,

Sometimes it feels like you never left. 

Sometimes.

I love this month, with all that it brings, I'm loving the quietness and serenity that I'm feeling inside,

And I hope it lasts,

Nariman,