The Breakup

It was painful and just tragic. There was so much agression and resentment in that relationship. It was not healthy at all. I lost so many things. I deceived myself, I tricked myself. I lowered my standards, I trusted carelessly, I was blind. I thought if he's that great as a friend, he would be great as a lover. How stupid of me! It's over and my friendship with him for 7years is over. And our common friends are over. And my relationship with my parents, who by the way blame me for his mistakes and actions, is also over. Now I have to learn to be without him, without someone who is not able to love amd give. To be without someone who's immature and irresponsible.

Tell her you love her

Tell her you love her..repeatedly!

Tell her you love her...you show her

Lonliness

I want to leave.

I want out of this.

You don't make me feel anything. You don't make me feel happy, and you don't make me feel sad.

I feel loneliness.

Drugs

Clean outfit, nails polished, makeup done. And Nari looks so pretty.

Oh so fucking pretty and we have a birthday to attend. And I don't feel right. I don't feel happy or in love or even okay.

I feel sad. But I get up and finish what I have to finish. I put on my smile just as fake lashes, comes easy.

I'm nearly done and I feel something beside sad. I feel numb.

It's my drug.

Simple concepts

Fake it till you make it.
Fake happy, maybe you'll be it someday.
I've never thought that I would be that type of person.
So full of anger and bitterness now.
Spreading poison since 89,
Nari

Shortie..

I just remembered something that I want to document. It's sorta ironic and funny I guess.
I finally got the guts to throw some of my ex's things which he got for me...on the same day that he got married. (Not on the day I found out he was getting married). I was just cleaning up my wardrobe and organizing actually.

Why the hell didn't I do this earlier?

I know my blog is extremely boring and lacking everything fun and colorful I'll put more effort in it I promise.

Nariman

The exorcism of the Exes

It's so hard to see your Ex moving on and see that their life might have gotten better.
While you on the otherhand are trying your hardest to only fix what that ex had so thoroughly damaged.
But it only hurt for minutes though. I know that I AM happy without him. My life even if it sucks rightnow, is much better with him out of it.
I only want to move on like he did, that's all.
On another note I've resigned from my job and found another.
But it's a better everything. So I'm excited!
For a better life..