Dear Journal,

I miss him. Yes, I admit it. I don't wanna things to turn back like they used to be. I don't want him back. I just miss him. His smell, his smile, his voice. Everything. I truly loved him, very deeply so. I lost my faith and trust in him. I used to think that he was my hero. My guy I called him in my head, My Migo to his face. I miss the sound of my name on his lips when I answer the phone. I miss his touch. I miss laughing with him. He doesn't deserve a second chance. He didn't even try to get one! He was never sorry for my misery and pain. He probably never will be. I could have given him the world, my life, I could have given him me. I could have loved him all my life and never waited for something back. I called him 7ayaty. He was 7abibi. My first. My one and only. He didn't want that. He betrayed me and humiliated me. And how could anyone put up with that? Why am I crying rightnow? It's no longer a relief..it's a constant pain in my heart. My eyes burn. Where did he go? Why did I fell in love with him? Where did I go wrong? I feel sorry for myself. But that won't help me. I never sought solace in him. He was always the cause of my pain. He never comforted me. It was an illusion and it's over now. So tired all the time. I miss him so much. I want one more hug, one more kiss on the forehead, or my cheek. I would accept a one on the hand. Why did this happen? Who's gonna be mine if it isn't him? I'm better off without him but there's always a but. But I'll miss him.
..يا رب عوضنى خيرا

Nariman.